As many of you who follow me on Instagram or Facebook already have heard, my husband and I are expecting a baby boy, Apollo James Green, on September 28th, 2020! In todays blog, I’m going to talk about everything I have been going through physically and emotionally since finding out I was pregnant, and some of the things I noticed beforehand. These “Mommy Diaries” blogs will last through my entire pregnancy, with updates each week, and I’m sure they’ll continue once I’ve given birth and had some time to heal and get used to a new life as a mom. I want to share all of my details with you, so that you know what’s normal if you experience these things too during pregnancy. I always value the opinion and experience of someone I know, especially now that I’m pregnant, so I want to be a person others can talk to as well. I have gotten so many questions from how I am feeling, to if I’m ready, if I can update some of you on how it goes after having breast implants. I’m going to address it all in this blog. 🙂 Let’s jump in!
If you took the time to watch the video I posted on Instagram, you might already have all the deets and will want to skip this part, but for those of you who missed it, I’ll briefly explain how we found out about my pregnancy and what a miracle it was. I did not have a clue I was pregnant until 4-5 months along. In short, here is why: I had no typical signs of pregnancy. I was not experiencing any morning sickness, I was not growing a baby bump (I still barely have one and I’m 21 weeks today – I just look bloated all the time), and I didn’t notice the breast tenderness for what it was. About year ago I got breast implants and what I now realize the breast tenderness in the first trimester was, I was mistaking for nerve pain and healing from surgery as it can take up to a year for full recovery. The only hallmark sign I really had of being pregnant was no period, but it didn’t concern me because I have had a hormone imbalance for several years. I often will lose my period for several months at a time, or have a very very light period for a few days and then it goes away. I had also recently started dieting for a bodybuilding competition, which often causes me to lose it as well. All of those things combined, and being pregnant really didn’t cross my mind. Especially because my hormone imbalance was one that made me think I couldn’t get pregnant, even if I wanted to. I was irrationally hungry when I was trying to diet for my show, and I think that has been the only real symptom of pregnancy I’ve had that was noticeable at all. Now that I’ve been paying closer attention, I have several others I’ll tell you about shortly. What made me decide to check if I was pregnant was a few things. Firstly, I was getting really uncomfortable and crampy during a few exercises at the gym (hip thrusts were the biggest one). I always felt like I was bloated or overate when I was working out, and I wasn’t sure what it was, but continuously blamed it on food. I had a moment where I was at home where I put my hands on my stomach, and something about it felt like I was pregnant, but I just didn’t think it could be possible, so I ignored it. 24 hours after that moment, I got a call from my mother who had a funny dream. In short, she dreamt she found out she was pregnant with a baby girl (I consider this to be a sign since I’m her daughter) with blue eyes (and my husband has amazing & beautiful blue eyes). This was weird, as I had felt like it was possible I could be pregnant, so I went out and got a test. I took two, and twice it came back positive.
I initially was a huge mixture of emotions. I am young myself, so I was genuinely scared. I was excited, but nervous. And I would go back and forth on being happy and fearful for hours. I wasn’t ready for this, but maybe I was. I didn’t want to be a mom – at least not yet, but maybe I’m meant to be. For some beautiful and miraculous reason, although I didn’t think I could pregnant, I did. I believe everything in this life happens for a reason, and so it did. Eventually, my fears subsided, and excitement took over. Sure, sometimes I still get nervous, but how lucky am I that I get to create another life with my most favorite human on the planet? I feel extremely blessed. So, I told Aaron and we started to get things together. I was under the impression that we were having a quarantine baby – ha! Was I wrong about that. I truly thought I was in the first trimester, being that I didn’t look or feel pregnant at all. My first ultrasound picked up that I was about 18.5 weeks pregnant, and when I finally got into the OBGYN for a legitimate ultrasound, he determined that I was about 20 weeks, putting me well into the second trimester, and pretty close to the third. I was shocked and once again became nervous about the health of the baby. I had not known for this long, wasn’t taking prenatal vitamins and had been sick twice. But after blood work and ultrasounds and everything was set and done, he is a happy, healthy little boy who also loves to show off on ultrasounds. He kicks and somersaults and occasionally likes to flash the ultrasound techs. It’s been fun going in there and seeing him on the screen, he seems so playful and adorable already.
So, let’s talk about everything I’m experiencing now that I’m aware of pregnancy. First off, let’s start with the physical side effects of the First Trimester – these are things I now realized I missed that were some signs of pregnancy. Extreme fatigue, I slept a ton during this time, but being that fatigue was very normal with my hormone problems, I didn’t think twice about and just upped the caffeine consumption (which I have since cutout). Constipation, which I consistently blamed on food. Breast tenderness, which I mistook for my nerve pain from implants. & lastly, occasional cramping, that was never really too bad and happens to me now and then for no apparent reason anyways. Emotionally, I also noticed a greater fear of abandonment in my relationship with Aaron, which I’m generally super secure in, and that was strange. I wasn’t sure where it was coming from.
As for the Second Trimester, this is when I found out and began to notice more particular things. Physical symptoms included, abdominal ligament stretching (which feels kinda cramp-like and is totally normal), cravings specifically for fruit, and indigestion if I eat too much in one meal – which then causes me to feel nauseous so I’ve made my meals much smaller since. Constipation has subsided – but I am gassier than ever, tooting and burps happen more often than I want them to. Lastly I’ve noticed some heart palpitations if I go for a walk or stay on my feet for too long, but these are pretty rare. I also noticed longer hair, healthier skin (glowing skin) and faster nail growth. My first stretch marks also appeared on my chest. I have been using Bio-Oil to combat any further stretch marks on both my stomach and breasts. I also have dry patches on my arms and face that are red and itchy, which is a normal part of being pregnant and are only slightly annoying. Other emotional symptoms include extra weepiness, I’ve cried a lot more than normal since the beginning of the second trimester (without knowing what was going on), I’ve been more protective of my husband and our relationship, which I think was the extension of my fear of abandonment, that I now discovered is SUPER normal when you’re pregnant (thank goodness, I was feeling a little crazy! Haha). Also, my husband is the literal best human ever, and always makes me feel so loved and special no matter what, so I realize that this feeling is coming from all my surging hormones. Lastly, emotionally I have been having an extreme insecurity of what is going to happen to my body after I found out I was pregnant. The female body goes through so much during pregnancy, and many people say you will never be physically the same the again, which was a hard pill for me to swallow as a young woman who competes in Bikini competitions and has valued working hard for her body for years. I think that outward physical appearance doesn’t have to change too much, especially if you are healthy from pre-pregnancy and throughout. However, internal things can change, you can need stitches or C-sections, have tearing occur, stretch marks, incontinence, breastfeeding, and weight gain in general can apparently all change things for our bodies. I will be honest and open with all of you wonderful women who read my posts and blogs because I think there isn’t enough transparency around what really happens to our bodies and what is normal. This is still a fear of mine, but one that I’m willing to face because the magic of bringing our baby into the world is far more special and important than the superficiality of what I look like. As you also know, I’m not opposed to cosmetic enhancements, and if that’s something I later feel like I want because of anything that happens, I’ll more than likely do it, because why not? I don’t do cosmetic enhancements for anyone else, but me, and the few things I have done have made me feel happier and more confident. 🙂 To each their own.
A few more topics I will save for another blog will include how to exercise while pregnant (what’s okay and what isn’t), what Kegels are and why they are important, and there will be a whole blog on breast implants and breast feeding once the baby is born and I go through all of that, but for now – they’re still in great shape, just getting a few stretch marks from growth.
As this is the start of week 21, I will keep notes about what I’m going through, if anything has changed, how I’m feeling and more, and report back to you guys in a week! One of the things I have mostly accomplished for baby this past week and I’m still working on a little bit is our baby registry. I’m linking it here through my Amazon Lists, so future mom’s can have an idea of what they’ll need. I’m not finished yet, but will be soon. There are a few things I don’t have because some wonderful friends of mine have offered theirs to me, so I’ll make a specific blog about everything you need in full detail later, but for now, this is a bulk of it and I researched all the products I added for probably way too long, so I can promise you they’re good if you’re also unsure of what to get.
Can’t wait to hear your baby stories and share more with you, thanks for all of the love and support so many of you have given us already! We love you!
Resilient & Radiant 